Sorry I haven’t been blogging much I have not been eating right. I am finally feeling like I can get back to figuring out how to stop my compusive eating. I have been on Zoloft for two days which I researched and I think it should help and has been. It is for OCD and depression and Anxiety all three that I have. So to get back in the grove I have joined a book club for Geneen Roth’s Women Food and God. I finished my last Geenen Roth book which I hope to share my thoughts on in the future.
I currently follow several health blogs (It is comforting I am not alone) and one blog i have found interesting is this one. Christie Inge, HHC does intuitive eating to stop her compulsive eating. It is fascinating and she is an inspiration. Please join the book club she is only on the first chapter so still time to join. This below is my post in the book club forum.
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I had a near death experience when my gastric bypass went wrong. Here I was dying to be thin literally. After years as a teen and twenties praying to be instantly skinny and I promised i would then take care of my body and maintain my skinny exterior I could do it just if he would poof me into perfection. It never happened and when I was almost 400 lbs with three young children I was too embarrassed to take to walmart or leave my house and a husband who told me my belly was in the way to be intimate (he was not rude about it and married me as a chubby 280 lb women so it wasn't an attraction issue) I had reached rock bottom. It seemed God had opened up the chance to get this surgery within two months I was on the table when most people wait months/years. the first surgery went find then I had a complication and my bowel kinked and my new stomach opened. They didn't know about the bowel so an emergency one hour surgery took four and I woke up with a unsteady heart rate and high temp. I was in ICU for two weeks. I finally recovered slowly and didn’t eat for a month that first month I lost 50 lbs.Feeding yourself through a stomach feeding tube one would think would make you so done with food. Sadly our mind forgets things very easily or stuffs it in the back to hide it. I have a lot of issues to work out still with my guilt on an elective surgery that almost took me from my kids. The stereotype of fat is lazy, unmotivated, selfish and I felt all those why did I have to be so lazy. I have since lost 170 plus lbs and feel amazing even though I not a size 8 at two years. after the honeymoon phase was over from the surgery my son got a brain tumor and the emotional eating started again. I am just now a year after that trying to work through and get myself back on track. I just finished Geenen's Food is love (I think that is the title) and it made great sense to me. A ton of things i highlighted and now I am onto this one (just in time for the book club). I want to make the changes and be a success I now realize I have to deal with the emotions in my mind to do that. So the point of this babble is I do believe in God and I think he saved me in many ways but I am still praying for a "cure" to have the mind of a naturally thing non compulsive eater women. I am not sure this prayer can ever be answered.
Q. Have you have prayed for some kind of miracle you knew was impossible?
Thank you for sharing your story. I have always wished that food was not important to me, that I can somehow get through stressful/Sad times without turning to food.
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